The other day I was at the doctor’s office for a follow up appointment. The staff asked me for a urine sample to test for…I’m not sure what. Going into the bathroom, I noticed that the toilet seat was up. I thought, wtf, who leaves the seat up anyway? I snatched a paper towel meaning to grab hold of the seat without touching anything directly. At that moment, as I was leaning over the basin with thoughts of cotton gowns and charts floating though my mind, a hoop earring unattached from my earlobe and descended like it had a purpose into the toilet bowl. I stood there in disbelief with the now-useless paper towel in my hand. I considered the options as I looked down at the glimmering metal circle nestled in the porcelain bowl. Taking a deep breath as if I were preparing for a full body plunge, I submerged my hand into the cold, questionable liquid. Quickly I grabbed the hoop and dumped it dripping into the sink. Trembling, I proceeded to wash my hands and the earring like MacBeth (or his wife?). About that time, I heared my cell phone ringing in my purse. I dried my hands and saw that it was my daughter calling from college. After answering the call, I told her my whole ordeal. Of course she went eeww and haha which is fine by me. After a few minutes, I looked in the mirror, squared my shoulders and put the hoop back into my ear. I don’t know what to say. Sometimes I do things beyond reason. Soon, the nurse was calling me to go to the small room with the paper covered table designated for me. I filled my cup without further incident and dashed out of the room with earrings and phone still at my ears.

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